BREAKING NEWS: WEINER LAPTOP EMAILS HACKED

(Confidential sources have provided me with the emails found by FBI agents examining the laptop of former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner. In the finest WikiLeaks tradition, and to combat secrecy wherever it may lurk, I pass them on to you unvarnished. As you will see, some of the emails involve official U.S. State Department business, while others appear to be linked to Weiner, who sometimes uses the nom de plume Carlos Danger. FBI Director James Comey was busy writing another letter to congressional leaders and unavailable for comment on this email release.)

From: McHale, Judith A McHaleJA@state.gov
To: Abedin, Huma AbedinH@state.gov; Reines, Philippe I reinesp@state.gov
Sent: Fri Oct 15 12:35:32 2010
Subject: Pakistan

Americans recognize that our security and prosperity depend on having stable global partners, able to contribute to solving shared problems. Americans also know that our influence in the world and our ability to rally peoples and nations around common challenges rests in large measure on our reputation as a beacon of humanity and human dignity.

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From: Danger, Carlos cDanger@horndog.org
To: McHale, Judith A McHaleJA@state.gov>
Sent: Fri Oct 15 12:48:57 2010
Subject: Pakistan

Judy, Judy, Judy. So, r u hot, or what? I say F Pakistan. Better you should play with my package. Want to see it?

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From: Abedin, Huma AbedinH@state.gov
Sent: Thursday, October 27, 2011 11:51 AM
To: Clinton, Hillary HDR22@clintonemail.com
Subject: Ilan Grapel released by Egypt, en route to Israel

Grapel was freed in exchange for 25 Egyptians jailed in Israel, media report. He is expected to meet Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu upon arrival in Tel Aviv.

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From: Weiner, Anthony awein@yahoo.com
Sent: Thursday, October 28, 2011 2:38 AM
To: Abedin, Huma AbedinH@state.gov
Subject: I Swear to God

Sweetheart, I had no idea she was 12. I mean, Jesus Christ, she used polysyllabic words. I mean, like she totally understood triangulation. You have to believe me on this!

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From: Mills, Cheryl D MillsCD@state.gov
Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 3:14 PM
To: Clinton, Hillary HDR22@clintonemail.com
Subject: FW: Anthony Weiner: ‘Nothing Huma can’t do’

By: Jonathan Allen, POLITICO
July 19, 2012 10:18 AM EDT

Some Democrats are whispering that it might be Abedin, not Weiner, who has a future in
elective politics.
“There’s nothing Huma can’t do,” Weiner said in an email Thursday morning.

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From: Sydney Leathers leatherMe@uporn.com
To: Danger, Carlos cDanger@horndog.org
Sent: Thursday, July 5, 2012 5:28 PM
Subject: Getting Off

Carols, baby boy! Time for me to get you off in ways your wife could never do.

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From: Mills, Cheryl D MillsCD@state.gov
To: Clinton, Hillary HDR22@clintonemail.com
Sent: Thursday, October 29, 2009 11:05 PM
Subject: Kabul update

As of this hour of Thursday night there is no deal on an ironclad, substantive, political platform of national solidarity and governance reform, in return for Abdullah’s gracious concession which would obviate the constitutional and political need for a problematic 2nd round. Karl and I remain in close touch with the candidates as they continue their engagement. But short of a miracle, there will be no such deal at least until Friday evening or Saturday morning, if then.

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From: Anthony Weiner awein@yahoo.com
To: Morehead Community College Cheerleading Squad wecheer@Morehead.edu
Subject: Bad Spelling

No, No, No! Not crotch rot. I meant to type crotch shot. Send me a crotch shot. F’ing auto correct!

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From: Cheryl Mills MillsCD@state.gov
To: Hillary Clinton HDR22@clintonemail.com
Date: 2012-08-16 06:15
Subject: Bill Clinton reunited with 14-year-old Uganda boy named after him

So good!
You have a new child — hope you all are taking good care of him!
Such a nice story.

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From: Weiner, Anthony awein@yahoo.com
To: Clinton, Bill hill.hubby@ clintonemail.com
Date: 2012-08-16 07:32
Subject 14-year-old Uganda boy

Jesus, Bill! Heard you were trying boys. Wild, man! At least there’s no messy blue dress to worry about. LOL! Let me know how it goes, Bro.