OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE POLITICAL DIVIDE — HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

There has been an abundance of trepidation about Thanksgiving this year. The fear and trembling is over the prospect of bringing Trump and Clinton voters to the same family table just 16 days after the Election from Hell. The New York Times and the Washington Post ran long trend articles about family holiday plans shattering to pieces in the wake of a divisive election. They quoted psychotherapists worried about their patients’ ability to talk turkey and politics with loved ones who voted differently.

Poor Thanksgiving. It hasn’t been under such an ominous cloud since the great Cranberry Cancer Scare of 1959. One woman, a distraught Hillary backer with two pro-Trump brothers was beside herself. “Thanksgiving,” she said, “has always been a time for people with shared values to join together in a celebration of peace and love.”

Really? She hasn’t been at my Thanksgiving dinners. Let’s not mistake a Norman Rockwell painting for the real thing. After all, this holiday got its start in 1621 when the Indians and the white immigrant pilgrims who were trying to steal their land decided to chill for a day and break bread together. According to the history books, it was a bountiful gathering and a good time was had by all. But the next day they went right back to fighting over property rights, a work still in progress 395 years later. (See Standing Rock Sioux v. Dakota Access Pipeline.)

Yet, the original Thanksgiving taught us a remarkably helpful lesson in conflict management. It demonstrated the value of engaging with people whose thoughts, interests or backgrounds are different than our own. It is a lesson well worth heeding today, now more than ever.

I can’t remember a time since the civil rights and Vietnam War struggles of the 1960s when this nation has been more splintered and on edge. Gallup released a poll today showing that 77% of Americans see the country as deeply divided on “the most important values.” That’s the most division Gallup ever measured since it started polling on the question. People were also asked whether they thought Donald Trump would unite or further divide us. Not surprisingly, we are split on that issue as well, with 45% saying he will unite us and 49% predicting more division.

This chasm has been building for some time and runs deep into the country’s psyche. There is no quick fix and it certainly doesn’t need to be relitigated before the pumpkin pie is served. On the other hand, a nation hurting from division will not heal in separation. At some point, we have to start listening to each other. Really listening, not just talking and shouting and interrupting. Hearing each other is the first step toward looking for common ground.

For those of us on the losing end of this election, that’s a tall order. It probably means enduring a smirking gloat and fist pump from a pro-Trump cousin or uncle. A couple of deep breaths will help. So will the silent recollection of two consecutive Obama victories when you all somehow made it through dinner without acts of violence. We have four long, rough years ahead of us in this tug-of-war over America’s values. It just seems so incredibly sad to start the journey by avoiding family members who didn’t vote the way we did. If there was enough love and connection to establish a Thanksgiving ritual together, there ought to be a way to enjoy another joyous meal in that company, regardless of the Electoral College vote count.

If we can’t bridge this political divide in our families, we’re going to have a real tough time pulling this country back together. I’m not sure just when it was that we started to segregate ourselves by thoughts and beliefs. It’s happened with cable news, and political websites and social media. As the Washington Post noted recently, it has happened with D.C. bars and restaurants. Bipartisan social gatherings were once commonplace among the city’s politicos, but now they tend to drink and dine by party affiliation. Nobody is listening to the other side, and the outcome has been legislative intransigence.

So why not start small this Thanksgiving? Don’t cancel plans to feast in a mixed partisan gathering. Let us all gather together, the elites and the deplorables, with good cheer and low expectations, with a vow to listen more and proselytize less. And if all that fails, turn on the football game.

Happy Thanksgiving!