(Caution! Trigger Warning: This post is about firearms in schools. Some passages may seriously agitate, irritate, exasperate or infuriate, particularly If you have the Second Amendment tattooed on your shooting arm, or routinely strap on a Smith and Wesson when stepping out to water the plants. In the interest of your health and my safety, you should probably leave now.)
The Washington Post reported today that Beth Dixon, a 63-year-old teacher at Pennsylvania’s Cumberland Valley Christian School, accidentally left her holstered pistol in a school bathroom, fully loaded and resting on the top of the toilet tank. The facility in question, police told the Post, was a single-unit, unisex restroom, the kind set aside in Virginia and North Carolina for transgender patrons, with or without guns. At Cumberland Christian, this bathroom is also used by elementary school students between the ages of 6 and 8. One of those kids spotted the teacher’s piece on the tank and alerted school authorities. Ms. Dixon quickly reclaimed her weapon and quit her job.
The incident, however, got the school thinking about what kind of a policy it should have on guns in the classroom (and bathroom). It might have been the last school in America without such a policy. The Associated Press reported that Cumberland Christian now wants to ban guns except for those specifically authorized by the administration. All things considered, that’s a pretty progressive gun standard.
The federal Gun-Free Schools Act of 1994, theoretically banned guns from school property, but contained a gaping loophole that was quickly filled by a slew of loopy state legislatures. In effect, if a state lets people carry guns in public, they can carry them right into the schoolhouse. The Washington Post reported two years ago that 20 states have laws expressly permitting licensed adults to bring guns into schools.
In Claude, Texas, there is a sign on the schoolhouse lawn boasting that the faculty is armed. Despite a growing concern over the quality of our schools and lack of sufficient funding, many districts are requiring teachers to take in-service training at shooting ranges. Johnny might not be able to read, but his teacher can hit the bullseye at 50 yards. Sadly, this rush to arm the faculty did not pause for reflection after an Idaho State University instructor accidentally shot himself in the foot during chemistry lab.
On the other side of the bullet, many schools are proudly enforcing a zero tolerance standard when it comes to students and guns. Forget that the teachers are armed to the hilt; these kids have to learn that guns are bad. A seven-year-old boy who brought a water pistol and a Nerf gun to school in Portsmouth, Virginia was suspended for 10 days and is now facing expulsion. A five-year-old girl was suspended from Kindergarten in Brighton, Colorado after she carried her pink Princess Bubble Gun into her classroom. While Texas teachers are packing heat, a seventh grader in suburban Houston was disciplined for wearing a “Star Wars – The Force Awakens” shirt because it depicted a Stormtrooper holding a weapon.” If the Stormtrooper had been a certified teacher, it might have been okay.
This all becomes even crazier at the college level. The carrying of concealed handguns is now legal in Texas higher education classrooms. However, it is a violation of Texas law for a student to possess a dildo or similar sex toy. That duplicity earned the University of Texas in Austin major agitation by returning students this month. Their irresistible campaign theme: “Cocks Not Glocks”. Not quite as poetic as “Make Love, Not War”, but the point is well taken.
This continually escalating domestic arms race is beyond baffling. Guns,, once an instrument of war, crime fighting and food gathering, have evolved into an angry political symbol. All the mass shootings, which now occur with the regularity of a sunrise, bring new calls to arm the populace. If it happens in a school, arm the teachers; if it’s a bar, arm the drinkers, a workplace, arm the workers. It’s like a bizarre science fiction movie. And you just know there won’t be a happy ending.